We’ve all heard those comedians do stand-up under the guise of, “You know you’re a BEEP when…” and they would fill in the beep with a myriad of nouns. I became acutely aware today that I was a mother. That’s my beep – I’m a mother.
I stay at home with my three and a half-year old twins and there is truly never a dull moment. I realized I was a mother of twins when while trying to use the bathroom, I became over run by the girls with a tube of lip gloss in hand, demanding that I “put on sassy lips”. I just let out a sigh as I applied the goopy Wet ‘N Wild to puckered up faces. Sometimes it’s just easier to feed the frenzy before it eats you alive.
I knew I was a mother of twins when at the grocery store, both girls were having a meltdown in the cart because we weren’t sticking around to ogle at the lobsters in the tank. I tried to pull away from the tank when one of the girls grabbed the display rack next to the tank and began dragging it with her. I was stopped by a crusty octogenarian in a furry hat and house dress. She leaned in to the girls, put a finger to her lips and shushed them. For a split second, I almost forgot how angry I was at the girls for making me look like a bad mother and geared up to bust up some old lady!
But for all the meltdowns, fights, tears and temper tantrums, I get the same amount of experiences from the other end of the spectrum.
I knew I was a mother when after cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast, Alberta came to me and said, “You clean Mommy?” I told her I was and she followed it up with, “Good job Mommy.”
I knew I was a mother when tucking them in after a really brutal day, and Beatrice put her hand on my face, rubbed it gently and said, “You soft. I love you.” I love being soft and loved.
There are so many moments throughout the day that I look at them and think, “Who are you little devils?” and not 30 seconds later, I’m being cuddled, adored and consoled by the perpetrators. There will never be another experience in life that can bring you such suffering and such unbridled joy as being a parent. And just when I’m a hair’s breath away from losing it, I think of the movie “Ice Age” and the poignant words from Sid the Sloth; “You’re in our herd now. Dignity has nothing to do with it.” And I’m okay with that.